Weekly Recap

This week’s message from Colossians 3:19 concerned God’s word to husbands and this verse specifies two commands. Paul, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, actually undermines and subverts the status quo by not upholding the household code of Patria Potestas.  Rather than telling husbands to take absolute control and rule over their households, the command is to love their wives and not be bitter toward them.  Although this seems obvious to us, in the ancient world, love was not the main reason for entering into marriage.  But unlike man’s often distorted views of marriage, God’s Word commands husbands to love with agape - a self sacrificial love that exhibits an active, ongoing care for another’s well-being. In God’s plan, wives aren’t the husbands’ property; wives are their ministry.  In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are told to love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.  In fact, Jesus’s love for the Church is the model for how husbands are to love their wives.

Throughout its pages, Scripture reveals the attributes of this love.  It is a gracious love, both undeserved and unearned.  God extended it to us while we were still sinners.  It is also a forgiving love which Jesus demonstrated throughout his ministry and on the cross.  Forgiving first is one of the most important ways a husband is to lead in the home because unforgiveness leads to bitterness.  It’s an understanding love that comes from learning about and knowing what makes a spouse feel loved and it is a sacrificial love.  Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her.  In addition, this love is initiating and sanctifying.  God initiated the relationship he has with us and he sanctifies us when we trust in him.  He transforms us from the inside out and helps us to grow in Christlikeness.  Pastor Chris asked the husbands in the room to consider this question:  “Is your wife more like Jesus because of your influence in her life?”  He urged husbands to consider the way they love their wives as a spiritual calling on their lives.

In addition to loving their wives, the second command in this verse is for husbands to fulfill their roles in humility.  “Don’t be bitter toward them” means not to be harsh, create a toxic environment, or use their power in an abusive way.  Instead, the husband’s role is to create a safe, loving environment based on self sacrifice.  The husband is called to be the chief servant in the home.  The greatest example of this is Jesus, who fulfilled his role on earth in absolute humility - not only through his birth, death, and resurrection, but his whole ministry.  In the Upper Room, Jesus, knowing full well he was God, put himself in a posture of humility and self sacrifice as he washed his disciples feet - including the feet of Judas his betrayer.

This type of love modeled by Jesus is also an impossible love.  We all fall short and can never love this way on our own.  We can’t measure up and that is why we need the good news of the Gospel.  We aren’t saved by our performance but by the perfect performance of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us and helps us pursue the life of love we are to live in him.